First of all - oh my fucking God, I hate Cheryl Cole so much! The smug cunt showed her rough side on Saturday night's show, making a personal attack on Wagner - who DARED to say she was anything other than the most talented and most beautiful woman in Britain to a journalist. It was inappropriate, unprofessional and a blatant attempt to get Wagner sent home. I thought he defended himself beautifully and showed her up for the nasty, egotistical funt she is. GO ON DE WAG! I have to say, one great thing about being in Scandinavia was not seeing Cheryl Cole's face on any newspapers or magazines; she truly is the scourge of the British Isles.
Anyway, as far as fashion goes, Cheryl was as gaudy as ever in what looked like an ice-skating costume (though her tits didn't look as strangled as last week), while Dannii was borderline dowdy in a brown, Grecian gown. Seriously ladies, what are you paid for?
On to the performances: Matt kicked things off with an uncharacteristically upbeat and raunchy performance of Come Together. His voice sounded a bit strange at the beginning of the song - like he had something caught in his throat - but I think he was putting a growl to his voice to sound extra manly and virile. He didn't look that comfortable but he sounded well and it was nice to hear his lower register and see him get out of his comfort zone. I thought he looked good in his vest but personally I wish he had more neck.
It was a good start to the show and a good move for him in the competition because it showed that he isn't a male Rebecca, who can only stand and sing ballads.
Also, I was DELIGHTED when the crowd booed Simon after he tried to rain on Matt's parade and forced him to shut up. Simon's being an absolute shithead this series - he's talking crap and I've no respect for him or his opinions anymore. I wish him and Cheryl would fuck off to America so we could be done with them.
Cher - First of all, how ugly and chavvy did she look in that Grazia photo shoot?
I think there's something really ugly and Cheryl-esque about Cher's soul. She's got no respect and she's as fake and arrogant as they come. I thought Imagine was a terrible song choice - she obviously doesn't give a fuck about world peace and it was a cynical attempt to show her non-existent sweet and innocent side. It was an insincere, self-indulgent performance and her Mariah Carey-style vocal decorations completely didn't suit the song.
I was delighted it was announced that she was in the bottom two. I wish Louis had brought it to deadlock - even if Paije had gotten the fewest votes, it would have given her more of a scare and knocked some more cockiness out of her.
1 Direction - The backing track seemed a bit loud and Harry's voice was a bit weak, but nonetheless, 1 Direction have a winning formula. I love how they now have an order in which they stand, with Harry in the middle, Liam to his right, Niall to his left, and Louis and Zain the two tone-deaf book-ends.
It was a great, Glee-style arrangement of the song but it wasn't their best performance and Liam should have sang more.
Good, but I'd like to see more polish and greater cohesion in the group when they're performing.
Rebecca - ANOTHER. FUCKING. BALLAD. I kind of hate her... I dread her dreary performances just as much as I dread Katie's desperate ones. I can't comprehend how boring her album would be. I imagine it would be put in the section where you find whale sounds CDs...
I was happy that she got some negative feedback this week (it's been a looong time coming!). When she put her nervousness down to having to walk in her performance when she usually just stands, I was speechless - she is an anti-star.
Beyond beige - for me it was the worst performance of the night.
Mary - She was vocally secure and very much 'in' the performance but I thought it sounded dated and her presentation was a bit cheesy. I also wish she'd sing with more dynamics - she has a tendency to sing fortissimo the whole way through a song. (Well, she is "a big woman who loves to have big songs beltin' out of 'er"!)
I was happy that she got a big cheer and the judges were all complimentary towards her.
It wasn't quite as magical as her first two performances, but it was close.
Paije - Poor Paije! I thought it was not only his best performance in the competition but also the best performance of the night. Oh well, we all know the X Factor is about having a gimmick or an emotional hook and Paije was drama-free.
He was confident and controlled in the beginning of the song and his voice sounded rich in his lower register. It was a great vocal, even if he did get a bit sloppy near the end.
He was never going to win the competition but he deserved to stick around for another couple of weeks at least :(
Wagner - He is growing on me. I thought he gave the quote of the series when he said, "When you are singing, you enter another dimension which has only beauty" in his VT.
I LOL'd at Louis's head-bopping at the beginning of the song. I thought Wagner looked great in his Sergeant Pepper jacket and I loved the Austin Powers-like campness of the performance. What a gas man!
I honestly preferred him to all three of Cheryl's girls this week. Wagner is, at least, entertaining. I hope Cheryl's attack has boosted his popularity - if anyone needs to be put in their place, it's her.
Katie - I nearly choked when I saw her new hair. My brother (who doesn't follow X Factor) remarked that she looked like a "doll that had been burned a bit", and I must say, he was spot on! I think it was mostly to do with her clumped eyelashes. Her sack dress made her look like an orphan from Annie while the haircut made her look, dare I say it, a bit special needs.
In fairness to her, she sounded better than she has in weeks but it was a desperate, overly self-aware performance and I didn't enjoy it.
My dream bottom two would have been her and Rebecca, but hopefully she'll get the boot next week. At this stage she's like a rabid dog that needs to be shot.
And that brings my X Factor recap to an end! My favourites were 1) Paije, 2) Matt and 3) 1 Direction. As far as Sunday night's performances are concerned, I thought that Olly Murs was mediocre and his song was awful. (2002 called - it wants its sound back!).
Hope you enjoyed reading this!
xoxo, Robinita ;)
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