Ugh, let me start off by saying that this year's show has killed X Factor for me. In previous years, I was addicted to the show but I loved it; this year, I'm addicted to the show, but I HATE it, and I hate myself for watching it.
Anyhoo, on to Saturday's show which was alright, if a little underwhelming in my opinion. In terms of the judges' appearances, Simon had gotten a haircut and I thought he looked younger with shorter bristles; Cheryl looked like a geisha, with white foundation and too-red lipstick (bless her), while Dannii looked stunning with flawless natural make-up and her hair pinned back. It was her best look of the series so far - bravo!
Round 1 - Club Classics
Rebecca kicked off the show with her Club Classic song, Robin S's transcendent Show Me Love. It was a great song choice and it suited Rebecca's voice - I particularly liked when she sang "You've got to giveittome giveittome giveittome yeah!" Rebecca looked very well, and was thankfully dressed a lot younger than usual, in a monochrome outfit. It was her best performance so far but, being Rebecca, she was very still and she didn't sing with any passion. That said, it was much more entertaining than her usual performances.
Mary - Something was off with this performance from the beginning. She didn't seem comfortable with the dancing or the fast tempo of the song, and while her voice sounded good, she didn't sell the song like she usually does. Also, her outfit was quite dowdy (fat chicks don't have to always wear black!) and visually she didn't fit in with her dancers in their hot pink outfits.
Sadly, Mary messed up at the end of the song and came in two bars before she was supposed to (but did any of the judges pick up on that? Hell no! I doubt any of them know what a bar is in musical terms). It pains me to say, but it was a shoddy performance and the worst of the Club Classics.
Matt - You've Got The Love was a GREAT song choice. It was obvious that he was quite ill and his vocals weren't up to his usual standard, but Matt is a pro and was able to build energy as the song progressed, making for a moving finish. There were a couple of rough notes but all things taken into account, he did very well and it was the best of the Club Classics (even if his rendition was more Florence than Candi Staton).
Cher - Nothin' On You was a good song choice but a bit on the 'bloody typical' side. She looked quite well in a tuxedo and it was refreshing to see her not look so 'urban'. She started off well but she lacks Matt's gift for pacing himself and ending on a high, and so the energy of her performance dipped. With Cher, you have the sense that the audience aren't with her because her performances are so self-aware and self-indulgent.
1 Direction - Only Girl was a brilliant song choice for them, but the boys' movements were out of sync and their harmonies were the worst they've ever been. They're loveable as fuck, but there's no denying that it was a sloppy performance and a big missed opportunity.
Round 2 - Ballads
Matt - Always A Woman To Me was a naff song choice, while the illuminated stairs and the dry ice made it seem that Matt had died of his fever and gone to Heaven. He hit a fair few bum notes and it was his worst performance so far, but that said, the man was dying.
I look forward to a healthy Matt 'smashing it' in the final.
Mary - I was in two minds about whether The Way We Were was a good song choice or too predictable. Her voice wasn't completely secure at the start of the song but she overcame her nerves and it was a moving performance in the end. It was unfortunate that she broke down before the last line of the song, especially because Mary's last note is often her best.
Much better than her Club Classic.
Cher - Love The Way You Lie was a brave song choice (especially when she had to be both Rihanna and Eminem) but it was a risk that didn't pay off. Her tuning was bad from the start, with her voice sounding weak and pitchy throughout. It was a cringey performance and her rapping was more like shouting.
I couldn't believe it when the little smunt disregarded Dannii's criticism, as if to say 'I don't give a fuck what you say - I know that was amazing'. Cher is so in love with herself that she thinks everything she does is incredible just because she did it. She thinks she's the Messiah of British culture - 'I'm the future of British music; I say ballads have been done and rapping, gurning and Mariah-style ornamentation is in' - but she's never going to be a great artist if she's not self-critical.
Also, where does she get off thinking she's so original? She sang someone else's song like every other contestant did - does she think that by choosing songs that are currently in the charts she's doing something radically different? Or is it that she thinks she's the first female rapper to come out of Britain? If so, I've got two words for her: 'Lady' and 'Sovereign'. She's the original white English chavette who raps so don't give yourself too much credit, mini-Chez.
Cheeky little cunt, I was delighted that she landed in the bottom two.
Rebecca - SO boring. Who needs sleeping pills when you can listen to Rebecca singing Amazing Grace?
1 Direction - It was much better than their first song. Chasing Cars was a good song choice - it was contemporary, emotive and the vocals were solid (with Harry singing a particularly lovely harmony in the second chorus).
The best performance of the night. I've a feeling they'll win the competition...
Overall, I thought 1 Direction were the best of the night, followed by Matt.
The results
Onto the results show, I thought Alexandra Burke was fairly amazing. Her voice was powerful and impressive, even if the song was a bit naff and her hair was awful. I loved when she rose into the air at the end - it made it a real X Factor performance. Next up were the cast of Glee and, to be honest, the performance was a bit strange for me - the beginning was definitely a bit confused and while the singing was good, I didn't know what was live and what was pre-recorded and there was no wow choreography. (Also, where was Kurt?). Last and least, were the Black Eyed Peas with their piss-take of a new single, The Time (Dirty Bit). They looked like fools, Fergie's vocals were painful and someone should tell Will.I.Am he's not a robot and to stop looking and acting like a gobshite.
In the sing-off, I thought Mary was much better than pitchy and tearful Cher. I was hoping that Dannii would get Cher back for disrespecting her on Saturday's show, but Dannii did what Simon and Cheryl wanted her to do (after all, how is she going to become part of the cool crowd if she does things that make them angry?).
I fucking hate this show. I think Simon, Cheryl, Katie and Cher should all be put in a space rocket and blasted into the sun.
On that cheerful note, I bid you adieu.
Hope you enjoyed this post!
Xoxo, Robinita ;)
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